Friday, April 9th, 2021

As the news breaks today we send condolences to the Royal Family as they grieve and to the wider nation.

We are also aware of the potential of this news to resurface grief in all of us, especially after such a challenging year. We acknowledge then also the pain felt from loss of loved ones and those who were unable to say goodbye as they would have wished during lockdown & restrictions. We also acknowledge the pain of separation from loved ones during the last year, or longer-term due to relationship breakdown, physical distance, health or other circumstances.

The important news is that however you choose to manage the next few days is ok. Some may find spending time dwelling on loss is helpful, others may find distraction better. For those who are unsure here are some thoughts that may help…

The news will be dominating the media. If you find this difficult choosing music, films, books or programmes on catch-up that lift your spirits may be a good alternative to tv, newspapers or radio.

You may find it comforting to spend time thinking of your loved one, looking at photos, reminiscing, visiting their favourite spot or cooking a favourite food. Some find journaling or scrapbooking helpful.

You may prefer to unplug, escape for a walk or get involved in the garden. It may be the time to start a project you have been putting off or try a new recipe.

You may find it helpful to have friends or family around to talk to or to be alone. Sometimes talking to a stranger can help and organisations such as Samaritans and CALM are always happy to listen.

If you in circumstances where you cannot manage the your surroundings, eg at work, it is ok to ask those around you to not discuss in front of you if you are finding it difficult and ask for any reasonable adjustments if you are struggling.

Finally, it is commonly recognised that there are many emotions associated with grief such as low mood, anger, disbelief, confusion and guilt but that these can also sit alongside happiness, joy and peace. It can be hard for those around you to understand how you feel and what you need. If you feel stuck understanding how to manage your grief either alone or with those around you it might be worth coming to talk to us.

Read more at Relate Mid Surrey